


The Time Oikawa Tried to Hide Something From Iwa-chan

by sammysosa157



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also Married Iwaizumi/Oikawa!, Apparently I love swearing, Everyone is a Doctor except for Kuroo and Oikawa, Hurt Oikawa Tooru, I wish this was more like Grey's Anatomy but sadly no one has sex in the closet, Iwa-chan is a Doctor, M/M, Married everyone!, Oikawa is a precious little shit, Okay I'm done writing tags now, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, This is my attempt at humor but I'm sure most will just walk away confused, okay now i'm done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammysosa157/pseuds/sammysosa157
Summary: Oikawa gets hurt playing volleyball and has to go to the hospital where Iwa-chan works, and is of course on call. (Cheesy I know, but I couldn't help myself). In Oikawa's attempt at hiding his injury from his husband, he ends up dragging his innocent friends into Iwa-chan's war path in the hopes that he could protect himself. God he's screwed.It's fluff. Disgustingly cheesy fluff.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You get the idea. Iwa-chan loves Oikawa, Oikawa is a shit, and everyone is terrified of Iwaizumi.

“Jesus Oikawa. It’s hard to believe that you’re still a neurotic asshole.” Kuroo said, as he positioned himself on the opposite side of the net from Oikawa. “What is this, your 500th serve of the day? Let’s get out of here!” Oikawa ignored him and continued bouncing the ball at the service line preparing to jump serve.  
It had been years since he played volleyball, but yet he still found that the ball fit perfectly in his hands. He and Iwa-Chan, now married for 2 years, still enjoyed the sport that had brought them together. But today was one of the days that Iwa-chan had a shift at the local hospital, so he and Kuroo found themselves at the gym playing a game between the two of them and the random people who joined in throughout the day.  
He took a deep breath and tossed the ball in the air and propelled his body forward. His timing was good, but not perfect, but Oikawa was still able to have his serve go over the net. As soon as his feet landed back on the court a searing pain tore through his knee, and he crumpled to the ground at the same time the ball hit the floor on the other side of the court with no one touching it.  
His vision whited out, and his body automatically curled in on itself, with his hands clutching at his knee. As he panted heavily, and tried to keep the pathetic whimpers to a minimum, Kuroo ducked under the net and rushed to his side. “Shit! Tooru are you okay? Did you break anything? Is it the same knee you’ve had trouble with?” Kuroo spoke a mile a minute, and with each question his tone grew more and more frantic. “Fuck! Iwaizumi is gonna have my ass!” Kuroo’s hands hovered over Oikawa’s knee, his fingers flittering to touch it and then pulling away as if it would cause him physical pain as well.  
“Iwa-Chan is here to fuck my ass?” said Oikawa. He sounded horrified at the idea of Iwaizumi showing up and executing that task in front of everyone, but his blush on his current pale skin and that shit eating loopy smile said otherwise. Kuroo decided that the best course of action was to ignore him and make fun of Oikawa later. Getting him to the hospital so Iwaizumi could have a look at his knee seemed like the best idea for Oikawa and the worst idea for him.  
Kuroo carried the freakishly long-limbed Oikawa to his car, and somehow managed to lay him in the backseat in what he hoped was a comfortable position. But there is no way anyone over 180 cm could fully extend themselves in the back seat of any car.  
“Do not under any circumstance tell Hajime I’m here.” Oikawa hissed out as Suga lifted his legs onto the hospital bed. “How do you expect me to keep that kind of secret from your husband?” Suga said again for what felt like the 100th time in the past 20 minutes.  
As soon as Oikawa had been wheeled into this place “Do not tell Hajime I’m here” has been one of 5 phrases coming from his mouth. The other 4 where curse words or just grunts and animal like hissing. “Just wrap it up and give me some crutches, and I’ll be good as new!” Oikawa tried to sound like his usual deceitfully cheerful self, only to have his voice crack and his smile turn into more of a grimace.  
“There is no way that is happening Oikawa! Not only will Iwaizumi kill me for not immediately calling him in the first place, he’ll kill me for sending you home when your knee is already swollen to the size of a softball and turning black and blue.” Poor Suga, thought Kuroo. He is already gray and with Oikawa being a little shit, now he is going to start balding. Dachi wouldn’t be very happy. Great. He now gets to deal with two pissed of husbands.  
“Can’t you just perform the tests Suga? I trust you!” Oikawa was getting desperate. “Please! We don’t need Iwa-Chan for that.” Suga looked exasperated. His skin was flushed an angry red, and he kept furiously running his hands through his hair in what seemed like a nervous tick. “I’m a Nurse Oikawa! Yes, I could run the tests, but an actual doctor needs to look over you first!” Suga inserted Oikawa’s IV into his wrist and secured it in place.  
“Can’t Kenma do it then! He likes me enough to not tell Iwa-Chan!” Oikawa looked wildly back and forth between Suga and Kuroo. “Quick Kuroo! Go find Kenma and bring him here.” When no one moved, Oikawa just started pushing himself up and off the bed. “What are you doing?!” Suga practically screamed all while pinning Oikawa down. “I’ll go look for him.” Kuroo said to appease Oikawa.  
Kuroo pulled aside the fabric curtain that kept Oikawa hidden from the hustle and bustle of the ER. He turned and pulled the curtain closed behind him and took a deep breath before fully facing the chaos of the ER. Kuroo had taken maybe 5 steps away from Oikawa’s room when he heard someone yell his name.  
“Kuroo! What are you doing here?” Kuroo spun around on his heels towards the voice only to come in contact with Dachi and Iwaizumi himself. Crap. Why was his life complete and utter shit sometimes?  
“Heyo!” He said an octave too high, which is not an easy thing for Kuroo to do. He’s found he only reaches the upper octaves of his voice when Kenma is licking his dick like a kitten, and apparently when he sees Iwaizumi.  
“What are you doing here?” Iwaizumi repeats Dachi’s unanswered question with a tone that cuts right through Kuroo’s usually cool exterior. “Ummm… Just looking for Kenma!” Shit! They are gonna see through him! Both Dachi and Iwaizumi’s faces are pinched in obvious irritation and disbelief.  
“Kenma is in the OR last time I checked.” Dachi replied. Iwaizumi just continued to stare at Kuroo. If looks could kill, anyone Iwaizumi has ever come in contact with would be dead. “Oh… silly me! I just thought maybe he got distracted playing with his D.S and wondered his way down to the ER.” Kuroo face palmed himself. He was done for. He’s a salesman’s for crying out loud! He lies and manipulates people for a living. Why isn’t he better at this!  
“AHHHHHHHH! What the hell Suga! That hurts!” Oikawa’s voice rung out throughout the ER, and probably the whole damn hospital. Kuroo watched Iwaizumi’s features transform in a matter of seconds. From confusion, to recognition, to fear, and finally what everyone and especially Oikawa and Kuroo had been fearing, Pure and utter rage.  
“That better not have been Shitty-kawa!” Iwaizumi yelled at no one in particular. Iwaizumi moved quickly to Tooru’s room and violently yanked the curtain out of the way. Dachi followed quickly behind him, probably trying to protect Suga from Iwaizumi’s wrath.  
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?” Oikawa was just sprawled out on the hospital issued bed, looking drunk on pain. “Iwa-Chan! You’re finally here.” He sounded almost like a sleep deprived child, who had just found their long lost teddy bear. His hands made grabby motions towards Iwaizumi in an obvious attempt to bring him closer.  
Iwaizumi’s rage slipped a little at the sight of Oikawa puppy dog eyes. He moved to position himself at Oikawa’s side. He ran his hands through the soft locks that he had been tugging on earlier that morning. Oikawa nuzzled closer into his hands and started yanking on his white coat, trying to bring him even closer. “Mhmm… Kuroo said you are gonna fuck my ass.” Oikawa flashed what he probably thought was a seductive smile, but in reality was a loopy lopsided grin. “I’m ready for you Iwa-Chan.” Iwaizumi looked horrified at Kuroo. “What the hell did you do to him!” Oikawa let out a whine at the loss of Iwaizumi’s attention. Kuroo shrunk back a little but gave Iwaizumi an explanation. “We were playing volleyball, and you of all people know how he gets.” Iwaizumi nodded in understanding and then shot a glare down at Oikawa who had his fists tangled in his coat still. Everyone knew of Oikawa’s obsessive behavior to be the best at everything he did, and how all too often he was consumed with it.  
“He was jump serving and when he landed his knee gave out and he couldn’t walk so I brought him here.” Iwaizumi moved away from Oikawa to begin examining his knee. Oikawa let his pain be known, and with every touch and prod of Iwaizumi fingers he grew louder and louder.  
“Shut up Shitty-kawa!” Iwaizumi flicked Oikawa’s head. Tooru shrunk away and swatted at Hajime’s hand. “Mean Iwa-Chan!”  
“Why is everyone shouting?” The quiet end even toned voice of Kenma somehow managed to silence the room. The first to react was Kuroo. He practically started bouncing on the balls of feet at the sight of the smaller doctor. “Kenma! I missed you!” Kenma just slowly craned his neck upwards to make eye contact with Kuroo. “You saw me this morning, and you even called me once already.” Kenma said plainly.  
Kuroo’s faced morphed into the most adoring look, and it was directed only for the eyes of Kenma. The others in the room suppressed their awes, well everyone except for Oikawa. “Why don’t you look at me like that Iwa-Chan?” “Because you’re an idiot.”  
After everyone had been properly reprimanded by Iwaizumi, Oikawa was wheeled out to have an MRI done on his knee. “I swear you’re going to be the death of me.” Iwaizumi was attempting to unclench Tooru’s iron like hold on his forearm. “Please kiss me Iwa-Chan! Just a little peck!” Complained Oikawa. “No. You’re in trouble. Bad Husbands don’t get kisses.”  
Oikawa’s hand curled around his wrist and his thumb gently caressed the inside of his wrist, bringing Hajime’s anger to a simmer. He always did that when Iwaizumi was emotionally unstable. Tooru was his anchor, and the touch of him was like ice cold water sliding down a dry throat. Both were needed to survive.  
“I’ll Kiss you if you promise you’ll never be a piece of shit again.” Oikawa flashed a toothy grin, and his eyes crinkled up at the corners. Hajime had always fallen prey to the beauty of Oikawa. “You’re funny sometimes Iwa-Chan!” He let a wind chime like laugh escape from his lips, and Iwaizumi was reminded, yet again, that he could get drunk off the sound of Oikawa’s laughter. He physically felt lighter just from a simple touch, smile, and laugh. God he was disgusting.  
“You know the reason why I didn’t want you knowing I was hurt.” Iwaizumi just glared down at Oikawa at that statement. “You go all scary Iwa-Chan on everybody, and yell at our friends, and your interns.” Iwaizumi felt heat creep up from under his lab coat. “Don’t you remember last time?” Oikawa asked. Hajime did. Very vividly.  
They were newly engaged. Iwaizumi had just finished up his residency. He had been working the ER for the night shift when Oikawa had stumbled in. He was pale, and his brow was slick with sweat and his hands were clutching his right side tightly. Iwaizumi had reacted immediately. He threw his current file at the front desk worker, and shoved poor innocent nurse Suga out of his way. Oikawa and Dachi say he picked up and catapulted Suga out of the way. Catapulted, shoved, same thing.  
Either way he had been completely frantic. He remembers sounding a little flustered when asking Oikawa what was wrong. Oikawa says he sounded like a child throwing a fit. Whatever. Oikawa looked ready to faint or throw up, and all he said was “I think I’m dying.” Idiot. But at the time those few words sent Iwaizumi into overdrive, and suddenly he felt like anyone who wasn’t him was a threat, and that the room was shrinking in on him.  
After shoving Suga out of the way again when he tried to approach Oikawa and ask what was wrong, and after tests ensuring Oikawa was not on the brink of death were performed, they were able to calmly speak and function again. Oikawa had fallen off the ladder trying to get the angel on the Christmas tree (Even though Iwaizumi had told him earlier not to do it till he got back home). Oikawa had said that he couldn’t wait, and that their house had looked incomplete without the proper angel adorning the top of their 13 feet tall tree (Oikawa insisted on having the biggest tree out of all their friends. Something about the height of the tree representing your Christmas spirit).  
It had ended up being fine in the end, and they spent Christmas that year exchanging blow jobs instead of having sex due to Oikawa’s cracked ribs. Oikawa had been disappointed. He loves “holiday dick,” his words not Iwaizumi’s. But he had lived, and had forever been banished from using the ladder.  
“It’s your fault I reacted that way! You can’t stumble into a hospital and say you’re dying and not expect some reaction similar to the one you received.” Iwaizumi shouted back at Oikawa’s claim of him being a mama bear. Oikawa just smirked. “It’s okay Hajime. It was really sexy.” He said almost listlessly. “Don’t you remember all the role playing we got out of that for a while? Remember that one time you pinned me down and-” Iwaizumi quickly, and not to gently pressed his lips to Oikawa’s.  
Oikawa moaned and tried to further the kiss, but Iwaizumi pulled away after a couple of seconds. “Just shut up and hold still for the MRI.” He finished setting up the equipment, and began to slide Oikawa into the machine. “Just promise me you won’t do anything like that again?” Iwaizumi realized how pathetic he sounded, but he needed to hear Tooru say it. Even if he was lying. “I promise.”  
Iwaizumi let his lips be tugged up in what some might consider to be a smile. “Good. Cause if you don’t, I’ll delete all your recordings of ancient aliens from the DVR.” Oikawa gasped and lifted his head to look at Iwa-Chan. “Unnecessary Iwa-Chan!” God, Hajime loved him.


End file.
